Changes

My plan for today was to clean house and quilt, not necessarily in that order! ;)
However, plans change so I am getting ready to go pick up my granddaughter, she is more like a daughter than grandchild and spend the day with her.  Precious times and memories.  I love being a Mom and Grandmom.  Family is the most important thing after God in my life.  Everything I do I do for them.  This has been the year of change starting with last Christmas.  Not sure exactly what God is trying to teach us yet but every time we have made plans this year somehow they have gotten changed.  It brings to mind on this day of all days another day in our history where not just our plans where changed but our way of life changed.

I'm thinking about 9/11/01.  I can still remember turning on my tv that day to see what was going on in the world before I started my day.  I remember the complete shock and disbelief as I sat there staring at the tv trying to comprehend what I was seeing before me.  It was overwhelming and terrifying.  I screamed for Jeff to come and see what I was seeing still having trouble believing what I was seeing was real.  Then it happened, the second plane hit and pure panic took over my heart, then they showed the pentagon.  What was happening to our world, why was this happening where was it going to happen next, where are all my children?  All these thoughts flashed through my mind in a split second.  Our world changed forever in those few seconds of senseless horror.

I remember the numbness and the eerie quiet as no planes were flying for the next several days and the panic that would arise when you did see a military plane in the air.  (We live near DFW airport so planes are just a constant in our world)  You just want your family with you to see and touch at all times, to know they are safe for at least the time being.

Our lives changed forever that day, we were both self employed at the time, we didn't make a penny for six months, we ended up having to file bankruptcy which was a foreign concept to us.  It was embarrassing and I hated it but we survived, stronger for it.  Hopefully we will never be there again.  My trust in good was rattled and not totally restored.  However, my trust in God never wavered, my trust that He loves me and His plans are for my good.  We live in a crazy mixed up world but He is constant and unchanging.  He is my rock and I will look to Him when all other things fall apart.  He alone is my salvation.  So nine years later we are not any safer than we were that fateful day, in fact this enemy seems to be getting stronger but I know in the end we win.