Thanksgiving 2010 - But God!

As I sit here this morning thinking of all the things to be thankful for I am simply amazed at the goodness of God. There are some things that have happened recently that could cause me to become angry, depressed and bitter. Truthfully my natural inclination is to do just that, but God! When I think on those things above and not beneath how could I possibly stay angry, bitter and depressed? He has done so much for me and those I hold dear (and some not so dear lol) His nature does not change, He is patient and longsuffering for us. Just thinking about it makes me want to shout from the rooftops His goodness to us.


We planned to pay off the last credit card this month, but God! Instead Sarah has had to have a lot of dental work and car repairs. But God! We didn’t have to use a credit card and we still have some money in savings, thank you for provision. Hopefully the credit card will get paid off next month.

There are a couple of people that have frustrated me and I’m sure I’ve frustrated them. But God! He is helping me to draw healthy boundaries and hopefully lead us all to patient understanding and acceptance of Him first and then each other.

2 of my children and 3 of my grandchildren are not going to be with us today. But God! For someone that wants all her family together in one place that is very hard to take. But thanking God that they are all healthy and celebrating in their own way and again I am just learning more how to let go and let each of them find their own way in this world. Hoping that they come to know Him and love Him as much as I do.

For the past couple of years He has been teaching me to “be” and not “do”. WOW, for a person that wants to “fix” everything and have everything all neat and tidy and wrapped with a pretty little bow beyond hard and frustrating. But God! So today I am focusing on all the positive things He has done in my world and truly rejoicing that He has my best interest at heart and praying that I will reflect His love and mercy as much as I can. Praying that everyone have a joyful and thankful day. Thanking God for the many blessings He has bestowed upon me, even the ones that hurt.

Just a little change

Look how different just rearranging how you put the blocks together make it look.  Totally different feel!  Just like our perspective on events of our lives, step back take another look try a few different angles, whole new look and feel.  Amazing.

Back to the quilt along

My life got incredibly busy this summer and has honestly not slowed down much but I finally was able to get another block finished on the jelly roll quilt along that ended in September.  I have 2 more to do and then put them all together.  I am very happy with how this block turned out.  I have been frustrated because I was not able to finish it on time but as I was working on this block this morning I realized it really doesn't matter that I didn't get it finished by the deadline for the quilt along but it does matter that I finish.  Isn't that how it is with God?  I don't think He cares if we meet our own self imposed deadlines and what not, what matters is are we obedient to what He has given us and will we be faithful to run the race set before us no matter what set backs and obstacles get thrown in our path?

Good times

It has been a good week.  Jeff’s folks came down for a visit and we have had a wonderful time.  We have literally shopped till we dropped.  It is the first time they have been down and we have not had the kids here too.  Bittersweet times, but we have enjoyed them so much and hate to see them go.  I am just itching to get back to quilting.  It has been a very busy time, but I have several projects calling my name so hoping my schedule frees up soon to get back to it.  I am amazed at how blessed I am, God has truly been good to me.

Baseball, Hot Dogs & all that goes with it

The Rangers won!  So exciting.  However, I have mixed feelings about it because you see for 5 years I was the coordinator for a fundraiser for our high school band working Rangers concessions.  We made a lot of money for our kids and the band but whew was it a lot of work.  I have always loved baseball and when I was single I had season tickets.  I have not been to a baseball game since completing my duty as Manager of the concessions fundraiser.  Not sure I will, it just has a whole other meaning now and I can't think of baseball without smelling spilled beer, hundreds of hot dogs and pizza running through my head.  Silly I know but that's just the way it is.  Not only that but they are playing the Yankees in a playoff game!  I can't even imagine, Yankees on a regular game is usually a sold out busier than you can imagine game.  Wow, I will be thinking of my friends working the game but rejoicing that I'm not one of them.!  I'm excited for my Rangers though, way to go and in a very classy way too.  

Musings and Ponderings

It has been a delightful weekend.  Sarah is home for fall break, Stephanie came over yesterday and we all went to a Pottery/Fiddle festival.  One of my cousins was playing fiddle, the pottery was awesome and it was a great family time.  We are also cleaning, sorting and packing getting the house ready to sell.  That has also been an interesting journey for all of us.  I have asked the girls to think about what they might want or need in the near future and pretty much everything else is getting, sold, packed, given away and in some cases trashed.  It can be a bit overwhelming.  We have come to realize we have way too much stuff!  What makes us collect all this?  You know you have too much stuff when you open a drawer or box and go "I completely forgot I had this"!  Then comes the turmoil of discovering a "new" thing and trying to decide what to do with it.  My rational self says you didn't even know you had it why keep it?  The emotional self says but it's so cool!  How many of us are in that place bound by things?  I am praying for grace to be set free from that, and keep the main thing the main thing.  After all when we die we don't take all this stuff with us and then the people left behind have to deal with it.

Wow

So much has been happening, our life has been so crazy busy I still have not been able to quilt and now we are looking at putting our house on the market so not sure when I will be able to get back to my favorite thing to do.  I have so many projects to get done but I have to get the house in order first.  So pray for things to fall in place according to God's will for us.

Changes

My plan for today was to clean house and quilt, not necessarily in that order! ;)
However, plans change so I am getting ready to go pick up my granddaughter, she is more like a daughter than grandchild and spend the day with her.  Precious times and memories.  I love being a Mom and Grandmom.  Family is the most important thing after God in my life.  Everything I do I do for them.  This has been the year of change starting with last Christmas.  Not sure exactly what God is trying to teach us yet but every time we have made plans this year somehow they have gotten changed.  It brings to mind on this day of all days another day in our history where not just our plans where changed but our way of life changed.

I'm thinking about 9/11/01.  I can still remember turning on my tv that day to see what was going on in the world before I started my day.  I remember the complete shock and disbelief as I sat there staring at the tv trying to comprehend what I was seeing before me.  It was overwhelming and terrifying.  I screamed for Jeff to come and see what I was seeing still having trouble believing what I was seeing was real.  Then it happened, the second plane hit and pure panic took over my heart, then they showed the pentagon.  What was happening to our world, why was this happening where was it going to happen next, where are all my children?  All these thoughts flashed through my mind in a split second.  Our world changed forever in those few seconds of senseless horror.

I remember the numbness and the eerie quiet as no planes were flying for the next several days and the panic that would arise when you did see a military plane in the air.  (We live near DFW airport so planes are just a constant in our world)  You just want your family with you to see and touch at all times, to know they are safe for at least the time being.

Our lives changed forever that day, we were both self employed at the time, we didn't make a penny for six months, we ended up having to file bankruptcy which was a foreign concept to us.  It was embarrassing and I hated it but we survived, stronger for it.  Hopefully we will never be there again.  My trust in good was rattled and not totally restored.  However, my trust in God never wavered, my trust that He loves me and His plans are for my good.  We live in a crazy mixed up world but He is constant and unchanging.  He is my rock and I will look to Him when all other things fall apart.  He alone is my salvation.  So nine years later we are not any safer than we were that fateful day, in fact this enemy seems to be getting stronger but I know in the end we win.

Learning & Letting Go

I'm learning to do free motion quilting, I can sew straight lines all day long and have gotten pretty good at it if I do say so myself, however when you start doing curves and circles not so much.  Now for a person that is sort of a control freak and perfectionist this is a huge effort in frustration.  As I'm working on this today after both Sarah and Abby just left to go back to their worlds God really started talking to me about letting go.  Letting go is hard for me you see.  I want everything all neat and tidy and in control.  I want to know how it all comes out and I want it to come out like I planned!  lol  With quilting and with God that doesn't always happen.  I want my circles perfect and I want my kids lives to go how I think they should, but alas the circles are somewhat wonky and my children just don't always listen to my advice.  However, when it comes to the kids they are all doing pretty good and above all they all love so that is really all that matters and the quilts I'm working on will still warm people even if every stitch isn't perfect.  In the case of this little practice piece, it will make great pot holders! Life is good, even if the quilting isn't perfect.

Back to basics

This has been a rough summer in so many ways, I keep trying to get back to basics, but sometimes that is just hard to do.  I just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  This much I KNOW.  God loves me and His love is never failing.  He has a purpose for me and my children and my children's children and He is faithful and just to get us all to the finish line.  If you are impressed please pray for my family.  Jeff needs wisdom in his knife business and favor at his "real" job, Corey needs a financial miracle, my Dad is still recovering from a recent surgery.  Several family members need to know God and we all need heart adjustments I'm sure.

Empty nest

Well Sarah is back at college, she finished her quilt all by herself and she did a great job.  Rachel is getting ready to start her senior year of high school, she doesn't come over as much as her sisters always did, so the house is really empty feeling.  Hopefully I will get to feeling good enough soon to get back to quilting and things I really love.  Looking forward to what this year will bring.  Trusting in God and dreaming big.

Time Flies

I can't believe this summer is almost over, seems like it just started.  I had so many things I wanted to get done this summer.  Oh well.  This has definitely been the year of my plans not working out but it's all good and I know God is in control. 

Sarah is leaving for college again next week!  It has been wonderful having her home, she is growing into a fine young woman and she loves God with her whole heart.  Rachel is going to be a senior and all that entails.  I just love that kid, she called me yesterday so excited about her senior pictures, can't wait to see them.  Abby thinks she may have found a grad school so praying it works out.  Stephanie is a senior at Texas Wesleyan, she has gone to school almost full time and held a full time plus job and is graduating with honors, so very proud of her.  Corey has started a new career and Whit is going into 8th grade.  I'm so proud of all of them.  God has been good to me.

I've not had much time this summer for quilting but I'm hoping to get back to it this fall.

Training a new generation

This summer, Sarah my step daughter has been learning to quilt.  She designed it, bought the fabric and has been working on it most of the summer.  She finished the quilt top yesterday.  It looks awesome!  So very proud of her.

As a Mother, it's always rewarding when one of your children likes some of the same things you like and then takes it that extra step and wants to learn from you.  I firmly believe in the biblical principle that older women should teach the younger.  It's all about handing down traditions.  My grandma quilted but for whatever reason I never learned how to quilt from her.  I want to be sure that any of my children or my childrens children that want to learn something from me have the opportunity to do so.  What a blessing.

Passages

Today we said goodbye to a dear friend, Nancy.  She planned her own funeral and it was probably one of the most awesome funerals I have ever attended.  It was uplifting and brought glory to God but also was all about her.  She was an amazing lady and will be greatly missed.  She was a true Proverbs 31 woman and her children have surely risen up and called her blessed.  Rest well sweet Nancy until we meet again.

The Puzzle Quilt

I am working on a puzzle quilt and it’s turning out pretty cool if I do say so myself! Lol

As I was sewing the pieces together this morning God started talking to me about our puzzle pieces. Wow, you see this quilt I’m working on is not a specific pattern, you just cut the pieces sort of randomly and sew them together, because of that they don’t always “meet” together exactly right. However, once you get them all sewn together you don’t even notice the little imperfections. You just see this beautiful splash of color and creativity. Scraps of cloth sewn together that bring joy, warmth, comfort and convey love. For me a quilt is a huge example of love. Someone took a lot of time and effort to make it and then gave it away.

That is how our lives are. We all have little segments of our lives that seem random, don’t exactly fit with our ideas, our wants, our desires, our plans. We have people that annoy us or bring us joy or occasionally bring us pain. Some of us have jobs we hate and jobs we love. We have family members and friends that are not walking the same path we are. But what would life be without all those little pieces that don’t seem to fit? Life is meant to be enjoyed, savored, even the mistakes and pain and hurt. They all work together to either make us forgiving and loving or angry and bitter. It’s our choice. God wants us to choose life and forgiveness, but He will never force us to do that, He gave us free will. But oh look how rich life can be if you choose the light and not the dark! We can be victorious over the pain, over the loss, over the hurt and despair. It’s a choice. Choose well my friends. Let Him come and heal your hurt and pain and wrap you in His quilt of love.

New design

I went to another quilt class today and had an awesome time.  I will post pics when it's finished.  Have I mentioned how much I am loving this? LOL

Wow!

This year has been absolutely incredible and way too much to go into. Let me just say I am becoming more and more addicted to quilting and I am amazed at all that God has done over the past 6 months.  Jeff's Granny passed away and while it's sad it was also somewhat of a relief in that in the end she didn't know who she was or what she was doing and that was very stressfull on all concerned.  Her funeral was very nice and I think she would have liked it.

Sarah has not been able to find a job this summer and actually even that is ok.  We are really enjoying each other and our time together is just precious. 

So praying you are being blessed and know Him if not consider this, God is a good God and He wants the best for you and wants to have relationship with you.

Almost done

Well I've gotten 4 of the 5 quilts done.  Can't believe it but very excited to have gotten that much done.  Have given 2 away and will give the other 2 this weekend.  Whew!

Overextended

Well I've done it again, I've taken on way more than I can possibly accomplish.  I don't know why I always do that to myself.  I have 5 quilts I'm working on and trying to get finished for graduation presents.  Not to mention work and family obligations.  Oh well what gets done gets done and that is all I can do.  There was a time in my younger years that I thought I had to get everything done and would stay up all night getting it done and nearly killed myself.  This led to a stroke at 43.  Crazy!  Now things still get to me but I am much better about just letting it go and if it gets done ok, if not ok.  Life is too short to live with regrets and frustration.  So enjoy your weekend and love those that are close to you!

Finished

I finished my first log cabin quilt Saturday.  I have to say I am so proud of how it turned out.  The person I gave it to loved it as well.

Almost done

I am almost done with the log cabin hand quilting.  I'm not very good at it and I'm very slow, but I do love the way it's turning out and I think the person I'm giving it to will love it.  I already have 2 or 3 projects in my head, fabric bought and ready to get started!  This is so much fun and I love that I finally have a creative outlet.  Jeff makes knives and I'm making quilts, we are having a great time.

Quilting

I am having so much fun with this whole quilting thing.  It's amazing and I've met some incredible people along the way.  Can't wait to see what is next.  I was recently at a pot luck dinner and one of the ladies brought her casserole dish in this very cute quilted cover that had a drawstring and kept the dish very warm.  I have looked everywhere for a pattern for that, any suggestions anyone?

New Directions

Wow what a year, I've really gotten into my quilting more over the past year.  Taking a couple of classes has helped so much I feel like I'm finally on my way to being a "real" quilter.  I have to say I am loving it.  It combines all the things I love, creativity, giving, relationships.  People love quilts and there is just something about them that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  I'm currently working on my first log cabin quilt and it's turning out pretty good if I do say so myself.  Can't wait to get it all finished and give it to the person I'm making it for.  I remember my Grandma making quilts and thank goodness I still have a quilt she made and each of my kids do as well.  Quilts are a lasting legacy.

Found this and realized I had never posted it!

July 15, 2009

When I woke up this morning I was thinking about the scripture in Matthew where Jesus was answering the disciples about why they couldn’t heal the epileptic man


Matthew 17:20

So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.

I love this passage of scripture. That train of thought then led me to the question that I’ve had asked of me several times over the years, “why do you believe the bible is true and inspired by God?” In the past the only answer I could give was I just know in my knower. Of course that does nothing to persuade someone that doesn’t believe and that has always frustrated me that I could not give a better answer. This morning as I was thinking on all that God took me back in my mind to before I was saved and really knew Him and the many times I tried to read the word and just couldn’t. It was complicated, boring and totally didn’t relate to my world and I would just get even more frustrated and put it down. Now I will say that when I was little I had a King James Bible and that translation is very hard to read. However, when I was 16 my aunt gave me a living translation and I tried to read that and it didn’t make any more sense to me than the King James. So it wasn’t just the translation, I just couldn’t read it, it made no sense to me. My mind was closed to the word.

When I was 28 alone with 2 kids after a particularly hard and nasty divorce I began to cry out to God, wondering if He was really real. I had been raised Methodist and was in choir the whole nine yards. I was even sprinkled with water from the Jordan river when I was 13 (which I thought was way cool but totally didn’t have any understanding of anything at that point in my life) I just thought God was this far off entity that I would have to deal with when I died, I didn’t think He had anything to do with my life on this earth or that He even cared about me or anything else today. In other words, I thought He was irrelevant in this dispensation.
As I cried out to Him, He met me where I was. I remember lying in bed singing the doxology (it was all I could remember) and doing that night after night. Even then, the worshiper that I was created to be was coming out, you see we all have gifts and callings that are in us from God and they will come out and either be used for Him or this world, it is our choice.

For those of you that might not have been raised Methodist and you are wondering what is the doxology, here are the lyrics.

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;

Praise Him, all creatures here below;

Praise Him above, ye heav’nly host;

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Amen



Ok, that was a little rabbit trail I just couldn’t resist! Anyway, one night as I lay there singing that little song we always sang at the end of church all I can tell you is God came into my bedroom. I was laying there crying and He just came in and I literally felt Him put his arms around me and He comforted me. I still didn’t understand exactly what that was but I knew it made me feel better. It wasn’t long after that I became radically, annoyingly, amazingly saved. I really came to know Him and He became real to me and I realized He wanted to be involved with me TODAY! It was a life changing thing and I’ve not been the same since. There is a lot more to share but I’m running out of time today.

Bottom line, after my encounter with the Creator of the Universe I could read the bible and it made sense. Not only did it make sense but it was ALIVE! It spoke to me and guided me. So that is how I KNOW the bible is real and God is real and He cares about me and you. If the bible doesn’t seem real or relevant to you then you probably don’t know my God, but you can, He wants to know you and He loves you where you are. If you want to know more about that just contact me and I’ll be more than happy to tell you about Him and how you can know Him too.

Life's Journey

Life’s Journey
© Pamela Guinn

Let’s start with a few definitions from the dictionary of Life & Journey

Journey - a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time

Life - the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally
A mode or manner of existence
Effervescence or sparkle

What does the bible say about life?

There are 475 references in the bible about life. One of my favorite passages is John 10:10
the thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly
Here is the translation for the word life in this passage from Strong’s Concordance.

Life translation zōē

1) Life
a) The state of one who is possessed of vitality or is animate
b) Every living soul
2) Life
a) Of the absolute fullness of life, both essential and ethical, which belongs to God and through him both to the hypostatic "logos" and to Christ in whom the "logos" put on human nature
b) life real and genuine, a life active and vigorous, devoted to God, blessed, in the portion even in this world of those who put their trust in Christ, but after the resurrection to be consummated by new accessions (among them a more perfect body), and to last forever.

Abundantly translation perissos
1) exceeding some number or measure or rank or need
a) over and above, more than is necessary, superadded
1) exceeding abundantly, supremely
2) something further, more, much more than all, more plainly
b) superior, extraordinary, surpassing, uncommon
1) pre-eminence, superiority, advantage, more eminent, more remarkable, more excellent

What does the bible say about journey?
Journey translation naca`occurs 146 times
1) to pull out, pull up, set out, journey, remove, set forward, depart
a) (Qal)
1) to pull out or up
2) to set out, depart
3) to journey, march
4) to set forth (of wind)
b) (Niphal) to be pulled up, be removed, be plucked up
c) (Hiphil)

This particular use of the word journey occurs 705 times!

Translation - Derek
1) to cause to set out, lead out, cause to spring up
2) to remove, quarry
1) way, road, distance, journey, manner
a) road, way, path
b) journey
c) direction
d) manner, habit, way
e) of course of life (fig.)
f) of moral character (fig.)

This particular use of the word journey occurs 12 times!

Translation – macca’ prounounced mas-sah’
1) a pulling up (of stakes), breaking camp, setting out, journey
a) pulling up, breaking camp
b) setting out
c) station, stage, journey
This particular use of the word journey occurs 154 times! Translation – poreuō
Pronounced po-ryü'-ō
1) to lead over, carry over, transfer
a) to pursue the journey on which one has entered, to continue on one's journey
b) to depart from life
c) to follow one, that is: become his adherent
1) to lead or order one's life

Now that we have the “frame work” let’s look at our journey in this life.

I have been seeking God a lot lately about my role and destiny in this life on earth. Who am I, where am I going, does anything I’ve done really matter? Those kinds of questions have been on my heart and mind a lot lately. I realize that I can sometimes go way overboard on the “what if’s” and why and totally over analyze things to death. However, I believe that it is important to evaluate where we are and where we have been occasionally. One thing I keep hearing is remember the history, if you don’t remember history it is bound to repeat itself. I certainly have a few histories I don’t care to duplicate! Several places in the word God encourages people to have a memorial, in other words remember and don’t forget where you’ve been. Testify to the goodness of God in ALL that He has brought you through.

One other thing I tend to do is get so focused on where I’m going that I forget to enjoy the now in my journey of this life. You can be so laser focused on the destination that you totally miss the beauty in the journey! Sometimes the destination is not the main thing, the journey to get there is. Have you ever been on vacation and you were so excited to see something or go somewhere but when you got there is was a huge letdown? But the trip there was a blast? Sometimes I think we overlook the getting there and miss a lot of what God has for us here, today.

Recently I passed a funeral procession and there were only 4 cars in it. I was on the phone with Jeff and I said how sad that a person could live their whole life and the only seeming impact they had equals 4 cars of people. I think that person must surely have been a very lonely soul. For sometime my prayer has been God let me love people as you loved them. I take Him at His word that the greatest gift is love. I believe that love truly is the currency of Heaven. A long time ago He gave me a word that he was going to teach me to love the unlovable. I was young and stupid back then and thought “wow, what an awesome word.” Little did I know the pain that word was going to bring to my life. However, as painful as learning to love the unlovable has been there isn’t anything I would change. I still don’t think I’m there yet, there are a few people in my life that are a huge pain and I don’t totally have the love thing flowing for them at all times but I’m working on it and asking Him for more grace to accomplish this task. Here is the dictionary definition for love - a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. There is this one person that God has put in my life that these feelings are a huge struggle. However, I sometimes have these feelings for her and I’m confident that if I keep seeking Him with my whole heart someday I will reach this lofty goal of loving the unlovable.

So for me the journey of life is all about sharing ourselves with our fellow human beings as God brings them into our sphere of influence. Loving Him first with our whole heart and loving others as we love our selves. Ouch, that last one may hurt a bit as well, love our self? I struggled with this one for years as well, but God my deliverer showed me how much He loved me and that I am worthy of that love just because He created me! I pray He would show that to you today as well. But above all love Him and let Him shine through you! That you might sparkle and reflect Him to all you encounter.